I am running a little behind today. One of my kids pooped her pants and my husband left me with an empty gas tank.
I know this is going to sound crazy but I am going to be late because the chicken coop caught fire and I was chasing chickens around my yard.
Gonna be a little late. Both kids pooped their pants on the way out the door. I have changed four diapers and four pairs of pants.
Can you turn on my office light. I am soooooo late!
I have reached my pinnacle of stupidity. My sitter left a half hour ago with my car keys and my purse in the van. So whenever I figure out how the f*^% I am going to get to work I will be there.