By David: Binkies and Bourbon

“I have no problem getting up at night for one of our kids, it’s the fuckers who call 911 at 3am because they have fallen down and can’t reach their bottle of bourbon that I have a problem with.” I said to my wife this morning.

At 3:00 am my son who’s almost 3 got up because he couldn’t find his “binkie”. Damn binkies. I heard him start to cry and then I heard the patter of his feet coming down the hall to our room. I can’t say pitter patter because that would be an entirely inaccurate description of the sound my son makes when he is running down the hall. He has big feet. His size is another entirely different story, but those feet don’t pitter patter. Anyway, this turned into an hour of striping sheets and remaking a bed and calming my daughter, also 3, who had wet the bed. She’s so stubborn that she would have slept the rest of the night in a puddle of wet if my son hadn’t woken up. I gave her a little kiss and noticed that she had turned her head to the bottom of her bed to avoid the wet spot I had just put my hand in.

I’m a firefighter and what I said earlier about the fallen person calling 911 because he couldn’t reach his bottle of bourbon was a real call. We get a surprising number of calls like that. It is expected that you won’t sleep through the night without at least one call. Most nights we’re up for some sort of call, occasionally a real emergency (heart attack, car wreck, an elderly person that fell down and needs help up, or a fire), but we also get calls for “BS emergencies.” I’ve gone to calls for nose bleeds, stomach cramps, and most often for drunk people that have either fallen down, are too drunk to get up or have injured themselves when they passed out. These are the calls that I could do without at 3 am.

As much as it hurts to get up to find a binkie at 3 am, especially after being up the night before because some idiot was in a drunken stupor, getting a hug from a sleepy kid and an impromptu “I love you, Daddy” washes the agony away in a flash.

So waking up this morning at 5:45 to go to work after being awake from 3-4am was painful. My eyes felt dry and scratchy, my head was pounding, and the desire to get back in bed was almost insurmountable. I got out of the shower and my wife came in the bathroom.  She had that same “run over by a truck” look that I felt. She asked me, sort of under her breath, “Will we ever not have to get up at 3 am every night?” That is when I said, “I have no problem getting up at night for one of our kids, it’s the fuckers who call 911 at 3am because they have fallen down and can’t reach their bottle of bourbon that I have a problem with”. We both laughed in spite of ourselves as things came into focus. As parents we may not sleep through the night, but at least it’s not because our kids have fallen down and can’t reach their bottle of bourbon… at least not yet.

David is dad to three under the age of three and is married to the blog hostess. He is an at home dad and in his “free time” he is a firefighter. Sometimes he is overwhelmed by diapers, sippy cups and dirty laundry and looks forward to the bloody noses and bourbon drinkers but he is happy to have two very important jobs. 

3 thoughts on “By David: Binkies and Bourbon

  1. This resonates on so many levels, I am still laughing… David, someday pretty soon you WILL get uninterrupted sleep again. Well, at least two out of three days when you aren’t working! Thanks for sharing this.

  2. Sleep is such a hot commodity these days!!! Loved your Blog David. I have to say I got a good laugh… I am still in shock that someone “little fuckers” would call 911 over such a thing. WOW!

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